The Rules of a ‘Kingsman’ Gentleman

Harry Hart - The Kingsman

The Rules of a ‘Kingsman’ Gentleman. My homework: increase my score from 65%


Rule 1
A gentleman never tells about his conquests, private matters or dealing. His business is nobody else’s.

Rule 2
A gentleman does not clash in public with his enemies or exes, or worse, with out-of-fashion contrasts, style or colours.

Rule 3
A gentleman is always happy to serve, whether it is opening a door or picking up the bill. Ask him for help and he cannot refuse.

Rule 4
A gentleman never reacts to rudeness. He pretends he does not recognise it and moves on like it never happened because it should never happen.

Rule 5
A gentleman is always ready with witty comments and remarks, interesting facts and conversation starters that bring the best out of everyone.

Rule 6
A gentleman asks non-invasive questions to keep a conversation going and attention focused on others. He makes them feel like the most interesting person he’s ever met, whether that is true or not.

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Event timeline

“When should we tell people about our event?” Oddly, that’s a question I’ve heard three times in the last week.

There’s no absolute right answer. Events, audiences and organisations will all vary. That said, telling a membership group about an event 14 days beforehand is probably too late. People are busy, they have family, social and business events all vying for diary space; often it’s the first in the diary that wins.

That means that 6 weeks, as a rule of thumb, should be the latest you send out the first notice of your event.

Here is a general timetable that you might want to work to.

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Tactical advertising with style and humour

The CEO of Mercedes has just retired. BMW hired an actor who looked like him and made this advert.

This is a really good piece of opportunistic marketing by BMW.

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Wisdom developed for the corporate world

The Dakota Indians of North America passed on this piece of wisdom from generation by word of mouth: “If you are riding a dead horse the best thing to do is dismount”.

However, in the corporate world today, because of the heavy investment factor other things need to be tried:

  • Buy a stronger whip.
  • Change riders.
  • Threaten the horse with termination.
  • Appoint a committee to study the horse.
  • Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
  • Lower the standards so dead horses can be included.
  • Appoint an intervention team to reanimate the horse.
  • Create a training session to increase the riders load share.
  • Reclassify the horse as `living impaired’.
  • Change the form so it reads “This horse is not dead”.
  • Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
  • Harness several dead horses together for increased speed and efficiency.
  • Donate the dead horse to a recognised charity therefore deducting its full original cost.
  • Provide additional funding to increase horse’s performance.
  • Carry out a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.
  • Purchase an after market product that makes dead horses run faster.
  • Declare the dead horse has lower overheads and is therefore more cost effective.
  • Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
  • Rewrite the performance requirements for horses.
  • And, finally if all else fails, promote the dead horse into a supervisory (management) position.
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The flaw with Net Promoter Score

I’ve long been a doubter over Net Promoter Score (NPS); it has always seemed a bit blunt and fails to pick out the issues for me.

Confirmation bias is a thing I am wary of, but this article sets out some reasons why Net Promoter Score can fail: https://blog.usejournal.com/net-promoter-score-considered-harmful-and-what-ux-professionals-can-do-about-it-fe7a132f4430

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1970s live music

1970s iconic live music gear: Shure SM58, Marshall amp, Vox amp, Fender Stratocaster and a Ford Transi Van/

Some images are iconic and full of memories. For live music in the 1970s, these brands are truly memorable:

  • Shure SM58 microphone
  • Vox amplifier
  • Fender Stratocaster
  • Marshall head amplifier
  • Marshall 4 x 12″ speaker cabinet
  • Marshall PA speakers
  • Ford Transit van

What other images would conjure up memories of live music in the 1970s? Let me know.

Roller banners and marketing

Chat services on websites are great. And they can be fun. I was buying a couple of those pop-up/roller banners earlier today. The more I wanted to buy the more the individual price went up.

Anyway, we got the order in, buying one at a time.

Here’s the chat transcript.

Conor (at the supplier)
Hi there, thanks for getting in touch. How can I help?

Kevin Harrington
Roller banner prices. I want to order two x double-sided. One costs £69. Two costs £156 which is more than twice the price. How do you recommend I order?

Conor
Hi Kevin, is that two of the same design? Or two separate designs? I think, either way, it would be best for you to add a single banner to the basket (for £69), then continue shopping, and add another single banner for £69. This way you’d save yourself a little bit.

Kevin Harrington
Bonkers.
Anyway, they are both the same with a different reverse.
When will they arrive if I order and upload the artwork in the next hour?

Conor
It’s due to the sale price on the quantity of 1. We don’t tend to get a lot of orders for more than 1 double-sided banner, but I will be getting this fed back to the marketing team, as it does seem to be a little incorrect. As for the delivery date, this would be due for Tuesday to a mainland UK address if you were to order and approve that all before 6.30pm today.

Kevin Harrington
Thanks, Conor.
Marketing people, hey? Ha ha.

The market analysis

The supplier’s observation is, “We don’t tend to get a lot of orders for more than 1 double-sided banner.” Well, perhaps that’s because people buy them singly as it’s cheaper!