Looking for that descriptive line for a reference?

I tripped over this list just after I had sent a reference off. Shame, there are some good one liners.

  • Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  • His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
  • I would not allow this employee to breed.
  • This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.
  • Works well when under constant supervision when cornered like a rat in a trap.
  • When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
  • He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
  • He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  • Somewhere a village is being deprived of an idiot.
  • This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
  • Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
  • A gross ignoramus; 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  • He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
  • I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
  • He’s been working with glue too much.
  • He would argue with a signpost.
  • He has a knack for making strangers immediately.
  • He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
  • When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
  • If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.
  • A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
  • A prime candidate for natural deselection.
  • Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
  • Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
  • If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
  • If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
  • If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  • It’s hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
  • One neuron short of a synapse.
  • Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
  • Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
  • The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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