Murphy’s Law of Work

  1. The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organisation. (For instance, The Murphy Centre for the Codification of Organisational Software Applications, compared to IBM and Apple).
  2. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  3. Never ask two questions in a business email. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
  4. When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
  5. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
  6. Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
  7. Never delay the ending of a meeting.
  8. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
  9. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  10. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens they are carrying.
  11. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Homer Simpson handle this?”
  12. The longer the title, the less important the job.
  13. An “acceptable” level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
  14. Success is just a matter of luck: just ask any failure.
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