Competitive salary = We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
Join our fast-paced company = We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere = We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Some overtime required = Some every night and some every weekend.
Duties will vary = Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail = We have no quality assurance.
Career-minded = Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person = If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.
Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience = You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
Problem-solving skills a must = You’re walking into perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills = You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Good communication skills = Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.