Dilbert’s Words of Wisdom

  1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow’s not looking good either.
  2. I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
  3. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
  4. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
  5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
  6. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
  7. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
  8. I don’t suffer from stress – I’m a carrier.
  9. Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
  10. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Dilbert, a ‘man’ after my own heart. Number 2 on this list is my favourite.

author avatar
Kevin Harrington
I’m a UK-based B2B marketing consultant, specialising in strategic advice for SME business owners. I bring extensive hands-on expertise to every client engagement. Senior leadership roles across technology, media, payments, and publishing have shaped my practical approach. Highlights include serving as Chief Marketing Officer at The Panoply plc (now TPXimpact), Chief Commercial Officer at Tungsten Network, and Global Marketing Director at BBC Worldwide. Over the years, I’ve guided numerous SMEs through transformation and value creation. Helping businesses evolve and thrive is a genuine passion. Practical marketing insights and succession planning strategies are at the heart of what I do, as I believe growing a business’s asset value should be a rewarding and positive journey for every entrepreneur.

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