Murphy’s Law of Work
- The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organisation. (For instance, The Murphy Centre for the Codification of Organisational Software Applications, compared to IBM and Apple).
- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
- Never ask two questions in a business email. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
- When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
- If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
- Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
- Never delay the ending of a meeting.
- To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
- If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens they are carrying.
- When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Homer Simpson handle this?”
- The longer the title, the less important the job.
- An “acceptable” level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
- Success is just a matter of luck: just ask any failure.
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