The Bizarre Parade That Backfired
Picture this: It’s 10 September 2010, and Microsoft employees are parading through the company’s Redmond campus with hearses, oversized iPhone and BlackBerry coffins, and an assortment of Halloween-esque costumes. No, this isn’t a fever dream or a scene from a quirky tech-themed horror film. It’s Microsoft’s actual celebration of Windows Phone 7 reaching its “Release to Manufacturing” status[1][3].
I’ve seen my fair share of product launches and company celebrations. But this one? It takes the biscuit for being simultaneously audacious and stupid.
The Funeral Procession: A Parade of Hubris
The parade featured some truly eyebrow-raising elements:
- Real hearses (yes, you read that right) for the iPhone and BlackBerry
- Microsoft employees dressed in funeral attire
- A fat Darth Vader on a motorbike (because why not?)
- A zombie mob dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”[1]
The message was clear: Windows Phone 7 was here to “bury” the competition. But as we now know, this premature celebration was more of a premonition for Windows Phone’s demise.
The Aftermath: When Bravado Meets Reality
Market Realities vs Microsoft’s Dreams
While Microsoft was busy planning funerals for its competitors, the market had other ideas. Let’s look at some numbers:
- Windows Phone never captured more than 3.6% of the market share[3]
- By 2014, Gartner predicted Windows Phone would hold just 3.9% of the market[5]
- In contrast, they forecasted Android and iOS to dominate with 29.6% and 14.9% respectively[5]
It’s a stark reminder that in the tech world, today’s leader can quickly become tomorrow’s cautionary tale.
The Missing Competitor
Interestingly, Android was conspicuously absent from this mock funeral[2]. Perhaps Microsoft didn’t see Google’s operating system as a threat at the time. In hindsight, this oversight seems almost comical given Android’s subsequent dominance in the smartphone market.
Lessons in Marketing: What Not to Do
The Dangers of Premature Celebration
This event serves as a textbook example of why it’s unwise to declare victory before the battle has even begun. It’s one thing to be confident in your product; it’s another to dance on the graves of your competitors before you’ve even entered the market.
The Fine Line Between Buzz and Backlash
While the parade was meant to be an internal celebration, photos quickly spread online, turning what was supposed to be a morale-boosting event into a PR nightmare[3]. It’s a reminder that in the age of social media, there’s no such thing as a truly “internal” event.
Know Your Place in the Market
Microsoft’s bravado might have been more understandable if Windows Phone had been a market leader. But as a newcomer trying to break into an established market, this level of hubris was particularly ill-advised.
The Legacy of the iPhone Funeral
A Lesson in Humility
Today, this event serves as a cautionary tale in the tech industry. It’s a reminder that success in the fast-paced world of technology is never guaranteed, no matter how big or established a company might be.
The Real Funeral
Ironically, it was Windows Phone that met its demise. The Windows Phone Store shut down and product support ended in December 2019[3]. The very platform Microsoft so confidently proclaimed would “bury” the iPhone ended up in the tech graveyard itself.
Seeing is Believing
Final Thoughts
As I reflect on this bizarre chapter in tech history, I’m reminded of the importance of humility and realism in business. It’s great to be confident in your product, but declaring war on established market leaders before you’ve even launched? That’s a strategy that’s likely to backfire spectacularly.
The tech industry moves fast, and today’s underdog can become tomorrow’s leader (just look at the rise of companies like Zoom or TikTok). But success comes from innovation, market understanding, and execution – not from theatrical funerals for your competitors.
So, the next time you’re tempted to throw a parade celebrating your product’s superiority, maybe take a step back and channel that energy into making your product truly great instead. After all, in the world of tech, it’s not about who laughs first – it’s about who laughs last.
References and Further Reading
[1] 8 years ago today: Microsoft threw this dreadful parade to celebrate
https://www.phonearena.com/news/Microsoft-parade-windows-phone-7-bury-iphone_id108635
[2] Where Was Android In Microsoft’s iPhone Funeral Procession …
https://techcrunch.com/2010/09/10/windows-phone-7-funeral/
[3] 5 marketing campaign failure examples – TechTarget
https://www.techtarget.com/whatis/feature/Marketing-campaign-failure-examples
[4] Microsoft Throws a Crazy Parade to Celebrate the Birth of Windows …
https://www.businessinsider.com/microsoft-iphone-funeral-2010-9?IR=T&international=true&r=US
[5] Microsoft employees hold funeral parade for iPhone, Blackberry
https://appleinsider.com/articles/10/09/11/microsoft_employees_hold_funeral_parade_for_iphone_blackberry
[6] Microsoft stages tacky ‘funeral’ of iPhone and BlackBerry – CNET
https://www.cnet.com/tech/mobile/microsoft-stages-tacky-funeral-of-iphone-and-blackberry/
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